Ask Amy, 13 September 2014:Dear Amy: When we were dating, my wife was the sweetest woman in the world. She didn’t make a move without asking me. We had a few kids. She stayed home and raised them while I worked. The kids grew up and went off on their own. The wife got a part-time job to keep herself busy. Then she got promoted. Now she works full time, goes to business lunches and dinners, meetings and training sessions. She comes home, cooks and cleans. She doesn’t ask me what I’d like for dinner but makes whatever she feels like. Our plan was for me to retire when I turned 62 (she’s 57), buy an RV and travel the country. Well, we bought the RV, but she can only go on weekend trips. Vacations are saved for when the kids come home. She traded in the car I bought her to tote the kids around for a sports car that I can barely fit in. Now she’s talking about getting a smaller house because she doesn’t have time to clean “a big empty house.” I keep telling her we will have grandkids one day and she will be glad we have all the space. She’s changed so much in 37 years that I don’t even recognize her, and I’m afraid one day I will wake up to a “for sale” sign in my front yard. How do I convince her she is just going through “the change” and in a few years she will be back to normal again? — Mystified Mike
Dear Mystified Mike,
Boy howdy, the ole’ ball and chain sure has pulled a fast one on you! Time was nice ladies like ole’ wifey knew their place. (Slightly behind you but never out of sight, holding a dishrag.)
But here you are today, seeing your wife bring in an income and cook and clean your home while you pine away for an RV you can’t use unless she’s in it—I mean, it’s not like it’s going to clean itself during a trip to Flagstaff, is it?
When you married your wife, she had a lifetime obligation to stay the same person she was on your wedding day. That’s what long-term partnership is about: wives graciously taking orders from their husbands for their entire lives, until they drop dead on the ironing board. You understand this, but your wife clearly doesn’t—and for that, you can definitely blame menopause, the only possible cause of your wife’s desire to be an independent human being with her own interests.
Nothing besides a totally natural hormonal change could possibly have compelled her to seek out new occupations and hobbies after the make-up of her life shifted away from the daily tasks involved in raising your children for you—certainly not the prospect of living under the thumb of a man who takes offense to the purchase of a sports car for the rest of her god-forsaken days.
What, are you supposed to cook dinner? Mop a floor? Have an open and honest discussion with your wife about household purchases and meal planning? No man should ever deign to engage in such offensive activities with his helpmeet. Nevertheless, you may have to gently suggest to her that she’s getting a little uppity these days, and has she talked to her doctor about her bizarre and offensive interest in acting like an autonomous human?
After all, your dinner is at stake.
I seriously thought this guy was just spoofing Pleasantville at first.
i wasnt going to reblog but then
The ass tho
That’s.. actually incredible. Not the ass, I mean that’s good yes but, fuck yeah Hawkeye Initiative!
I’m just impressed someone can contort themselves into the stupid poses they put women in on the covers of comic books.
Not photographed here: the .0382 seconds later when he tumbled hilariously forward and to the left.
Super incredibly maddening thing about mental illness:
Fighting your ass off to live a normal life and function as well as you can, and instead of getting credit and having people be proud of you for all the efforts you’re making, having people use your apparently normal behavior as a reason to invalidate you and think you weren’t that sick to begin with.
It takes a lot of badassery to act this normal, but the effort is all invisible
For the winTHIS IS MY PHILOSOPHY.
I kinda doubt this is a real Seuss quote, but I like the idea behind it nevertheless.
…huh! I stand corrected.
A trans lady friend of mine just said “back in the before time, when I had pockets” and I am just laughing forever, because her slow descent into rage vis a vis the uselessness of her new business wardrobe has been a schadenfreudetastic delight.
If anyone out there wants to design and make formal, or at least business, cargo pants, especially in lady cuts and colors, … Well you can put both of us down for 3 pairs.
After threats against her life, Anita Sarkeesian canceled an upcoming talk at Utah State University. Gamergate trolls are celebrating on Twitter while simultaneously dismissing the threats as nothing. Does this read like nothing to you?“I will write my manifesto in her spilled blood, and you will all bear witness to what feminist lies and poison have done to the men of America.”
The email’s author threatened to murder feminist women indiscriminately in a mass shooting. And because carrying guns on campus outweigh the right of students and guests to be safe, Anita Sarkeesian canceled her talk.
BUT WE SHOULDN’T FEEL THREATENED, RIGHT?
BECAUSE IT’S JUST THE INTERNET, RIGHT?
The bullies won this time. And if you think this shit isn’t dangerous, I’m fresh out of fucks to give and I’m not restocking any time soon. It’s goddamn wrong to to dismiss this by claiming the author isn’t serious. Elliot Rodger’s rantings were dismissed until it was too late.
This. Is. Not. OK.
guns… literally more important than the lives of women in the state of loveable mormons
Welcome to America, where we have free speech. Except for women. Women who say dangerous things that endanger basement dwelling neckbeards have to be threatened into silence. Then, when it’s publicized, to further silence her gender, it will be made utterly clear that she deserved it, so that other women won’t speak up.
Asked by Anonymous
What? My boobs are great.
See? Perfectly fine.
I mean, yeah, they jiggle and wobble and don’t sit high up on my chest. But that’s normal.
Like what do you think I should do about it? I mean
My boobs just do normal boob things. They’re A-okay normal healthy boobs.
Moral: Boobs are really diverse. Do your boobs sag? Normal. Do they have hair? Normal. Do they have stretch marks? Normal. Do you get pimples on them? Normal. Are they different sizes? Normal. Big nipples? Normal. Puffy dark areola? Normal. Not facing dead ahead? Normal. Small? Normal. Big? Normal. Normal Normal Normal.
And they’re your boobs. If you can change any of those things and you want to, go ahead!
But don’t let people tell you that your breasts are wrong just because they’re affected by gravity.
You’re fine. They’re fine.
Do think she could have made the same point Without showing her boobs though :$ that just gave the world a look at her half naked. Not classy…
- They’re just boobs, man.
- I’m topless like 70 percent of the time anyway, but I made a point of showing them, and subsequently received hundreds of messages along the lines of “that’s exactly what my breasts look like! I’d never seen any like them before! thank you”
- Your concept of class is silly. I am laughing at you.
- Seriously, they’re just boobs. Am I supposed to be ashamed of my boobs or something? Are you 12
- I do not associate with people that are that scared and disgusted by nudity, because I am not a child and understand that bodies are not inherently sexual, and even if they were there’s nothing wrong being sexual
- How are you breathing with your head stuck so far up your ass. Are you okay?
- Grow up.
- No one asked you.
Dear mouthy judgmental person two comments up:
Showing body parts is not “unclassy” or “shameful” unless you got off the Mayflower and you adhere to a strict puritan belief system.
If so, I recommend leaving tumblr immediately. There are a crapton of boobs on here.